September 3, 2010

The Rut

Have you ever felt like you were in a rut? You probably have. I feel that way from time to time, stuck in a mental rut, cycling through the same thoughts, feelings and emotions. Running them in my mind, picturing them, chewing on them. I think about the poem in my head that I wrote about yesterday, about it recessing back into my mind. Maybe it was sucked into the vortex of the spin cycle of the mental rut I am describing here. I guess that is possible.

And the frustrating thing is that while my mind is in this seemingly endless spin cycle; it also seems to be trying to figure out how to break free. I know there are new ideas that need to come out; breakthroughs in thought. (At least they are breakthroughs for me. You may hear them and say, that's it?)

I guess that is what keeps my mind from giving in to the vortex and giving up. New thoughts, new directions, progress. I want to believe, I have to believe that the greatest progress comes out of the spinning churn of recycled thoughts, because it takes that little extra mental push to hatch the new ideas and have them establish their own path of flight.

So I can be encouraged. I can treat the spin cycle as a rut, or choose to think of it as the crucible in which new ideas will be born and set free. I can think of the spin cycle as a trap, a mental gravity trap of some sort; or I can treat it as the launching point of the next series of steps I take in a new direction of progress.

I think this is where my faith comes in. I cannot be stuck in a rut with Christ by my side, for He is moving me ever forward towards Him. The times I feel in a rut is probably due to loss of focus on Him. If I take my eyes off of Him, I lose my balance and enter the spin cycle.

That being said, I need wait for His timing. I can open my eyes to the world and see it spinning around and around. Or I can close my eyes in prayer and see Him.

There is no rut if I choose correctly. That is my hope each day.

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