For reasons I do not really understand, it has been a tough term at seminary. I came through my first term OK, but it has been uphill since, and I am not sure why.
It started with the best of intentions, but quickly bogged down. I realized I needed to shed some of the load; I was not learning, I was managing towards a degree. I refuse to let this experience be about anything but an education, although I have to constantly remind myself of that. I needed balance with some mother things I felt called to work on, things I was finding as exciting as I thought seminary was going to be. As exciting as the learning should be. Ministry and education are a powerful team.
Even with that, it has been a struggle. Like quicksand at times. Or getting hit over the head with a hammer on a regular basis. The class load is light by seminary standards, yet still I struggle.
I have a few large projects I need to get started on, but the tank is empty, bone dry. No ideas, no thoughts about ideas. No ideas about thoughts. The mind is a blank.
It is frustrating because I felt called to come here, still do. But it is a desert of the mind I wander through right now. Hope I do not have to spend 40 years here.
I will pray and know the Lord can get me through anything He got me into. And when I nake it through this term, I will know it is all Him, not me. Not by a long shot.
He is sovereign, in His universe and my little world.
The prayer continues. Today is Your day, but so is every other day. Today is for spending some time in corporate praise and worship, private praise and worship, meditation, prayer and reflection.
Lord, I await your timing.
It started with the best of intentions, but quickly bogged down. I realized I needed to shed some of the load; I was not learning, I was managing towards a degree. I refuse to let this experience be about anything but an education, although I have to constantly remind myself of that. I needed balance with some mother things I felt called to work on, things I was finding as exciting as I thought seminary was going to be. As exciting as the learning should be. Ministry and education are a powerful team.
Even with that, it has been a struggle. Like quicksand at times. Or getting hit over the head with a hammer on a regular basis. The class load is light by seminary standards, yet still I struggle.
I have a few large projects I need to get started on, but the tank is empty, bone dry. No ideas, no thoughts about ideas. No ideas about thoughts. The mind is a blank.
It is frustrating because I felt called to come here, still do. But it is a desert of the mind I wander through right now. Hope I do not have to spend 40 years here.
I will pray and know the Lord can get me through anything He got me into. And when I nake it through this term, I will know it is all Him, not me. Not by a long shot.
He is sovereign, in His universe and my little world.
The prayer continues. Today is Your day, but so is every other day. Today is for spending some time in corporate praise and worship, private praise and worship, meditation, prayer and reflection.
Lord, I await your timing.
