May 8, 2010

Sometimes It Is Harder Than I Think It Should Be

Staying on The Narrow Road. I understand it in theory, I struggle with it in practice. If I were a car, I would say I have to tighten up the steering a bit because I keep running up on the shoulder or into the lane of oncoming traffic. Neither is where I want to be if I want to keep my life from winding in needing bodywork.

It can be frustrating to know what to do, but yet have so much trouble just doing it. Sinful beings in a fallen world, it sounds good as an explanation but also as an excuse. More accountability for actions and thoughts. Thoughts, yes indeed. Being accountable for what is going on inside that little pea brain of mine.

I think that is the real key. Being accountable for the things no one else can hold you accountable for, because only you know them. You and well, you and God,

That's what keeps me trying. My Savior asked me to. And I do so want to try harder to do as He asked, in love and gracious mercy. It's the least I can do.

And it pains me when I do it with my least.