September 14, 2009

Awakening

I have not blogged in a while, and it has been a productive use of my time, a centering of my core as it were. The desire to take a break from blogging was building for a while, and I was not sure where it was coming from. With the thought and reflection that has accompanied the absence of a daily blog, I believe it has become clear to me why I felt the need to stop for a bit.

I was blogging daily (not that there is anything wrong with that) and started to think in terms of streaks and stamina (the metrics driven life). It came from a desire to give my reader(s) consistency, I felt the need to blog daily, no matter what. It turned out to be a misguided notion, in that I blogged because I had to, not because I had something to say.

I really felt I was saying the same thing over and over. If I cannot expand my journey, I am wasting your time even more than I am wasting mine. My posts were staying on the surface, I was not getting deep into my feelings, my spiritual journey, my struggles and concerns.

Going forward, I will try to blog in a more heartfelt manner, and it will not be on a set schedule or pattern. This may be cause for celebration for those who bother to read, knowing that any given day may be free from having to read a new post from me

So, I am back to see how round two goes. I have almost started up the blog again and half a dozen times, once coming within ten minutes of publishing a post, but something has held me back until now. I knew I had to wait until I really felt ready, really felt the call to do this again. I knew I had to wait until this was no longer my timing.

I figure the worst thing (or the best thing) that will happen is that I will stop blogging and wasting everyone's time again.