Lasting Value

I guess I am changing. I watched a lot of football yesterday, more than I have in quite some time. I used to watch a lot more, but I seemed to have tailed off in the past few years. And I must admit, I struggled to watch as much as I did (especially the second half of the Colts win, being a born and bred New Yorker, raised on the Namath Jets, it has been a long haul since Superbowl III). Even as interesting the Saints-Vikings game was, I struggled. A little sorry how much time I spent watching, but I wanted a break from school work so I took the time.

Tastes change, interests change. What was vitally important, totally absorbing of your time and attention, loses appeal. What I think of as the sprint things in life. An intense burst of speed, an accomplished goal, then a fade out. I guess the things that last are the ones that are meaningful. Friends, family, faith. Those are the things that stay with me, the things I cherish year in and out. Marathon things, with lots of stamina and perseverance. Things that take time, but that are worth the effort you pour into them. Things that will not go away and you will be glad they do not, because you need them as anchors.

I will watch the Superbowl in a few weeks, and will enjoy it while it lasts. But then, back to the race of life alongside the things I love.

Remembrance

My Dad passed away last week and I just came home after returning back east for the funeral. It was a week touched with much sadness, much remembrance, much reflection. A week of tears mixed with some laughter, the recent pain mixed in with some of the past happiness. A week when I was touched by the loss of a loved one, but also touched by the love, encouragement and support shown by friends and family. Seeing and talking with cousins, sometimes for the first time in a decade. Seeing friends who traveled up from Texas to be at the funeral, spending more time traveling to and fro than the were able to spend on the ground, but who wanted to be there. It blew me away to see them as we entered the church. It hit me even harder yesterday to hear they used the travel time on the plans to share Christ with people. I am humbled to see how God moves in this world, using all for the glory of His name. Paul certainly laid that out clearly and correctly in Romans.

Standing at the grave site on a slight rise in the snow covered cemetery on a cold January morning. Listening to taps being played for a soldier who took part in D Day in 1944 as a very young man. The thought occurred to me that the winter wind will always blow more chill for the rest of my time on this earth, yet the warmth of His love will comfort me even more as it does. One of my earthly safety nets, my Dad, is gone. How I know even more today how I need to rely solely on the Lord to see me through this life to the next.

I am sure I will have my moments in the upcoming days, weeks and months. I am blessed to have a Dad like I did, for as long as I did. And I am more blessed to have a loving and gracious Lord to walk by my side as I struggle on through this life's journey.

The Close of Another Chapter

As I watch the last few hours of 2009 drift by, as I look back on the year closing out, 2009 has proven to be a year full.

Effective tomorrow, I start full time in ministry with a position at EvanTell as Chief Operating Officer. A journey that started two years ago with my retirement now moves off in a new direction. Ministry, not business, but a position that allows me to use 30 years of business skills to come alongside a ministry team and try to help them be better at what they already do quite well.

I have come to terms with the struggle I have had at seminary since I started in 2008. I am not a good student, at least I do not have good, student-like habits. I have been getting decent grades, but have not enjoyed the student-ness (I know that isn't a word but so what?) of being a student. I didn't in the 70's when I got my undergraduate degree; I certainly do not think a 30 year business career helped me hone my student skills. But I can accept that now and face my education with a better frame of mind.

As the year draws to an end, I am facing the fact that my Dad is dying and it is only a short period of time before he is gone. Given his alzheimers, in many ways I lost him some months ago. That is what is the most painful, watching what he has become while waiting until he is no more. A generation comes, a generation goes. All this as my niece is pregnant with the first child of the next generation on my side of the family, although my Dad will not get to be a great-grandfather as we may have hoped. All this as my Mom struggles with a situation in which she is soon to lose the man she has been married to for 61 years. I know I am blessed to have had both my parents for this long, yet the pain is there now. It will not be a good New Year's Eve for me. I will shed some tears tonight that I know.

Yet, 2010 is full of such promise and excitement. The Lord is sovereign, and I seek and struggle to walk alongside Him each day. There is pain in this life; I face it now, I have in the past, and know I will in the future. But I walk towards a future that will be joyous beyond the belief of the present world.

May you all have a blessed 2010.